Changing our life begins with noticing our beliefs & the lies we tell ourselves.
We become what we think about.
A man is but the product of his thoughts.
What he thinks, he becomes. ~ Gandhi.
Where do we start before setting goals and designing our life?
We start looking at what we honestly think and believe about ourselves.
We generate the results in our life that we believe we deserve.
If we think we are a second class citizen, then we are.
If we have been abused — verbally, emotionally, physically —
If we have suffered trauma,
Or loss,
Or just don’t feel like we have any value.
If we think we are worth less than others,
If we think we are not smart enough,
Not good enough,
Not loveable as we are.
If we think we are damaged in some way —
If we think we are broken,
If we think we are stuck,
If we think we can’t be fixed,
We are going to generate results that we think these type of people should have. We are going to produce the results that broken, not good enough, not lovable people create.
Whatever we believe will become true to us.
If we look at people who are successful in business,
Or in life,
Who are happy in their careers,
In their marriages,
In their friendships and family life,
And we secretly think that’s for them, but that’s just not for me.
I don’t deserve that.
Then we will never generate it — not with those beliefs.
If we have a damaged personal truth about ourselves — meaning we have messed up beliefs about ourselves —
Beliefs which cause our life not to work the way we want it to,
Beliefs which are limiting our capacity to be great humans, loving humans, limiting us to do useful work and be of service,
Beliefs which cause failure, or limit our success,
Limit our ability to serve, grow or contribute,
Then we will generate a lifestyle consistent with our personal truth —
We will generate a lifestyle consistent with what we deep down believe we are worth.
This could be reflected in our standard of living —
Mentally
Emotionally
Physically
Financially
Economically
CareerWise
Socially
Spiritually
Contribution
Skillfully.
Look at what you have right now in any area of life, and how you act. These are visual cues which can be used to demonstrate your actual standards.
In life, we don’t get what we deserve. We get what we are willing to tolerate. When we look at any area, we can see our standards — how we are living and behave demonstrates what we are willing to tolerate.
Take a good hard look at the different areas of your life — what are your real standards? Change your standards, change your life.
What do you believe about yourself?
What do you say to yourself?
What is your internal dialogue?
How do you label yourself?
How often do you say that to yourself?
Why is this important?
If all through the day you’re putting yourself down; if all through the day you’re labelling yourself as
A loser
Hopeless
Broken
Stupid
An idiot
Not worth anything
Unlovable
Not good enough
Too old
Too young
Not capable
Not skilled at anything.
If we are saying things to ourselves like —
I can’t do this.
I’m not going to get this done.
Yet again, I didn’t do…
I don’t deserve this.
We are essentially hypnotising ourselves and unconsciously causing this stuff to happen.
Until we change our internal dialogue, we are not going to get the results that we truly deserve.
Internal dialogue is critical as it becomes automatic and habitual.
We need to address this and get intentional about how we are speaking to ourselves.
What’s next?
Listen to what your brain is saying in response to reading this — about your beliefs, your standards, and the lies you tell yourself.
Start making a list of what you say to yourself, all the chatter.
We must write it down,
So we can get some objectivity —
So we can step back and look at it.
Later we need to start testing our beliefs and thoughts —
To see if they are rational,
To see if they are real,
To see if they are grounded in objective fact — not opinion, as there is a big difference.
To see if they are in our best interest,
To see if they are helping us get to the goals we say we want in our life.
And in service of creating beliefs and thoughts which are going to enrich our lives.
