I should be further along than I am, I haven’t done enough, I’m living one epic fail after another & other lies I’ve told myself lately.

A lot of my life reads like fiction over this past decade; I don’t know whether or not to share my stories with others, and if I do, how much do I say? How deep could people who know me bare to read if they knew the truth of what’s what? I’ve never told anyone the whole truth, not a single soul. This is one of the things I’m pondering right now entering the 20’s. One of my most favourite things to do before I set goals or outcomes is to spend time on introspection — intentionally reflecting on the past. What has happened over the past year? What situations occurred? How did I react? Could this help someone else? Do I need to be brave, bold & share? What have I contributed, learnt, done, and how have I’ve grown as a person? I think of it as looking to the past in service of the future, and highly I recommend this for you too. Why does it matter? I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the past year, and I’ve found this type of reflection to be the antidote to the feeling of I’m not enough. The antidote to fear & loathing and the stories of I haven’t done enough & I haven’t achieved enough, the feeling of being a failure, and all the other lies we tell ourselves about how poor our efforts or results have been. We are so supercritical of ourselves, taking 10 minutes to create a tangible list to shut that inner demon up could transform the quality of your entire coming year. If we start 2020 from a place of already feeling bad, being defeated and deflated, nothing good is going to happen. And all those hard, painful times? That is where real magic and wonder lies — the lessons we are destined to use for the power of good and helping others; that’s what I believe anyway. We all have patterns, and we often make the same mistakes over and over and over again. Don’t start this decade by setting yourself up to play out the lessons you’ve already learned.

What’s my intention with my decade in review and past-year review (PYR)?
I’m taking the time to honour where I have been, and be grateful and thank those special people in my life who have been part of the journey. Thanks so much, you guys & gals — you know who you are. This includes high-fiving past me — she did pretty amazingly to get me to where I am today. I’m choosing to be present to how blessed my life is, and feel deeply grateful for all the upside and downside, then get super intentional about where I want to be in the future — the plan is I’m setting myself up to have the best-decade-ever. I want this for you too!!!

Rather than rushing blindly into the future, have a look at what you have been doing with your time and resources — your time on the planet matters and a lot has happened over the past year and even more over the past decade when you stop and think about it…

Do the work. Ask hard questions. Know where you have been. Feel grateful. Check you’ve learnt from your mistakes. Know you don’t have to settle for less. Notice your patterns. Think. Reflect.

How to do a past year review (PYR) or decade in review.
Let’s keep it short. Grab a notepad and pen.

Schedule this to do at your Thinking Time.

You’ll probably need to use resources for jogging your memory unless your memory is your superpower, my suggestions include:

• Your Calendar
• Your Diary
• Journals
• Emails
• Notes on your phone
• Photos on phone
• Social Media
• Instagram
• Facebook & Messenger
• Apps you use (for me CommitTo3)
• Books You’ve read
• Audible
• LinkedIn
• Text Messages

Make two columns: Lit vs Cringe.
The positive column: What lit you up? How do you get lit up?
The negative column: What made you cringe?

Over the past year for each individual month jot down any activities, events, commitments, skills, situations or people that created positive or negative emotions for you. Pop them in their respective columns.
Note: I go deep & look at each week; you can choose either monthly or weekly
(If you’re doing a decade in review repeat for each month over the decade OR simply the year overall if you don’t want to invest as much of your thinking time into this).

Once you’ve got your Lit/Cringe lists, ask yourself:
Over the past year, what have I done that I’m proud of?
Over the past ten years, what have I done that I’m proud of?

What are the obstacles I’ve overcome?

What are the results I’ve created?
In my Career? Business? Relationships? Finances? Life?

Have I made significant changes in…
My Finances?
My Living Situation?
My Family?
My Health? Wellness?
My Career?
My Creative Life?
My Emotional State?
Emotional Habits?
My Physical space & Environment?
My Social Circle? My inner 5 (5 closest friends)?
My Education?
My Personal Development?

What have I learned over the past year? And ten years? What have I taught? What do I want to teach/share?

Where have I failed? Have I made huge mistakes? What was painful?
What are the things that didn’t go well?
What are the lessons I have taken from those situations?

How can I learn and leverage these situations and experiences?
Turn them into magic & blessings?

What do I want to make sure I remember as I move into this next decade? Why is this important?

What are the most important lessons I’ve learnt, and why do they matter?

What are the patterns I’m present to?
What is the 20% that most reliably creates positive emotions and lights me up? Aka, where & how do I get Lit Up?
What is the 20% that causes the most cringe-worthy negative emotions?

Now you have specific areas to focus on: Design your life & outcomes(and then specific behaviours) to focus 80% of your time in the 20% where you get Lit Up AND ensure you design your life to eliminate the most cringe-worthy areas.

That’s it! I would love to know what sense of focus or fulfilment you get from doing this exercise. Comment below or on social media with the hashtag #PYR2020.

Does this feel like it is still all too much to get started? Try the 30-second version: Choose one single month, or a week, or a single moment where you instantly know GREAT stuff happened, and ask yourself what is the most important lesson I’ve learnt from this situation, and why does it matter?

I’m a Tiny Habits© Expert and Certified Coach, and each day of January 2020 I’ll be sharing tips or breaking down rituals, routines and strategies into single actions and behaviours which you can do in 30-seconds or less each day. This exercise is neither Behaviour Design© or the Tiny Habits© Method, but rather introspection, reflection and preparation. More on Tiny Habits© and Behaviour Design© tomorrow!