Learn how to manage your disappointment even when your heart is breaking.
Here’s how.
I learned today that I wasn’t going anywhere this weekend. I was due to fly back to Auckland to see my entire family.
See, it’s my Mums 60th Birthday this weekend.
Friday, to be exact.
She and Princess Diana almost share a birthday.
They are one day apart in age.
And while Princess Di might not be alive, my Ma is.
And while Princess Di might be well celebrated and famous globally, my Ma isn’t but is loved by her family and those who know her.
No time is promised to us, so I was really excited to get to share this experience with her—
With everyone.
My Dad died when he was 32, so I’ve learned not to take birthdays, special events, or any moment for granted.
Last year, I missed my Grandparents 80th Birthdays due to COVID,
And this year, it’s Mum’s 60th.
But what’s a woman to do?
Have a pity party?
A pity parade?
I felt doing that.
That’s for sure.
By the way, did I mention we have zero cases of community transmission of COVID where I live? Zero.
Nonetheless, it is what it is.
What I have to do —
What we all have to do —
Is learn how to manage our disappointment.
The world is rarely going to deliver us what we expect.
The world—
And the people in it—
Are rarely going to deliver us what we deserve,
Or what we think we deserve.
We are hardly ever going to get what is fair,
Or what is right.
The world doesn’t work that way.
While the idea of fairness and equality,
Justice and rights for all are nice,
And what we think should be the standard,
Or we think are what’s right—
They aren’t the norm.
Not yet, anyways.
But that doesn’t mean we need to react.
That doesn’t mean we need to throw a tantrum,
Or get emotional about it.
When stuff happens, that is out of our control,
It’s almost crazy to react.
What will that achieve?
Nada.
Zero.
Zilch.
Nil.
Nawt.
Nothing.
What can we do instead?
Learn to manage our disappointment.
Give ourselves a limited time to feel bad.
Acknowledge the letdown but don’t get mired in it.
Don’t ruminate about what might have been.
Avoid self-pity.
Put it in perspective.
Focus on what we can do.
Although right now I’m in the messy middle and don’t feel the upside, that’s what’s next. So that’s what I’ll do.
