Shunning someone else’s pain, making them wrong for feeling a certain way, being dismissive and feeling justified in being this way, can we make this the “new” being racist/sexist? Please?

Pain. Fear. Anxiety. Overwhelm. Anger. Frustration. Jealousy. Hate.
Happiness. Joy. Love. Freedom. Self-Expression. Inspiration.
Which one/s would you rather feel?
Which do you want to share on social media?
Which do you identify with — you know — as the REAL you?
We are all, all of these emotions.
Without the lowest lows and the most painful pains, we may never experience the greatest joys and happiness.
Without heartbreak, pain and suffering, we may never feel the deepest, truest love, compassion and empathy.

I do not believe in comparative pain — mine vs. yours, this vs. that — and I urge you with all my will to adopt this idea.
This means not minimising someone else struggle just because they have faced “less” heartache, suffering or pain than you (or others, society, etc.).

I’m not saying it is as bad as being racist, sexist like the title of this essay suggests — I simply don’t know how else to word what I believe you could be doing to someone’s sense of self-worth, soul, heart when you invalidate how they feel. I’m trying to articulate this in a way where you might feel the consequence, or idea of the impact of what it does to some people, without any personal judgement on the matter. If you have a more articulate way of saying this, I need you to say it! Share it now, here, and this is really, really important.

Comparing hurt & suffering has been on my mind, in my heart and soul for a long time, and I’ve been trying to figure out a way where what I want to say will be HEARD by others. Where I could articulate this in words, rather than just knowing I had a deep sense that something was wrong, and ‘someone’ needed to do something about it.

This post not a place for your judgement or opinion; it is not a debate. This is not my belief. Being a citizen of the world, a friend, a confidant of many, being a stand for freedom, self-expression and love, I hear people shut down their pain, often creating long term negative and destructive lasting impact which takes years or decades to undo, and not want to share their true feelings for fear of being invalidated (what is the point of sharing with someone you love if they shut you down? you may as well say nothing, right?). Can you think of a time when you have been in this position? Or felt shut down by someones whose approval you were so desperately seeking?

On the other hand, I’m 100%, not your girl to come to for a rant about your feelings and not want things to be different.
My currency of love is doing.
I am your girl to take a stand to try and offer a new way to see the impact of being dismissive — you have no idea what is going on for the other person, and if they are brave enough to open up to you, please don’t shut them don’t. This is especially important if they see you as a trusted advisor, you have no idea of the damage you could be doing, even though your intent might be from a place of love.

I am your girl to say take action to do something to be in a place of power, ownership and responsibility about how you feel — never be the victim. If you’re the victim, you’re making someone else the perpetrator or villain, and let’s face it NO-ONE wants to be the villain in real life.

PAIN, SUFFERING, JOY, LOVE — EMOTIONS — are relative to what we have experienced in the past, and in our minds and imaginations.
And not at a theoretical level.
It is “getting it” — the ‘aha’ or lightbulb moments, when you move from knowing and understanding the idea to feeling it in your bones, soul, heart — that you resonate deeply.

Now get this; it costs nothing to be kind.
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.