Suffocating in silence; ungrateful for it all.

I feel lousy, entitled, moody, ungrateful.
Solem, Sulking,
I have no reason to feel this way,
Yet feel this way I do.

The trees conspire to exhale sadness and
Their breath becomes mine,
Their sadness is my sadness,
It slowly but triumphantly.
Penetrates my soul,
Suffocating me further still.

Their scorched orange-olive leaves,
Dance in the whispering winds,
Along the horizon of hazy grey and dusty powder-pink skies.
It is reminisce of once dazzling summer nights,
Which burned happiness into my being,
And lit up life,
Blissful,
Overflowing and
Abundant with wonder and love.

With the promise of better morrows gone,
Living a life day in day out,
Devoid of any kind of meaning,
Wilting and wasting away,
Empty,
Lacklustre,
Where has it all gone?
The magic, sparkle and joy?

A new season has begun,
One that promises something frightful is coming —
Something terrifying
Dark like the blackest depths of stormy nights.

My heart aches,
Suffering,
Loathing,
Tired,
Lonely and
Alone.
Desperate,
But rapidly beating still.

Where can I find it?
Is the question I need to answer.
The courage to turn things around.
The willingness to do whatever it takes.
The grace to accept things as they are.
The strength to stop wallowing in blissful self-pity,
And shift this despairing, shadowy space which is my emotional home.
Forevermore.

For beyond the abyss of darkness and despair,
True beauty lies.
Waiting,
Destined to be discovered,
By those adventurers,
With unstoppable spirit,
Brave enough to make this
A triumphant journey.